Sunday, October 4, 2009

When Your Lonely

Whenever I think of lonely people, the song, “All By My Self” by Eric Carmen comes to mind. What is it that really makes up lonely? I know a lot of people who are just fine by themselves, personally I like being alone for at least part of the day. I like my space but there are times when I’m lonely. I grew up basically an only child so I felt the loneliness since I was small. This feeling isn’t new to me. What is new is the re occurrence of this emotion. What is it in this world that makes this emotion so powerful?

We interact with people all day long but somehow in the mist of the day, we fade out from world into one where no one exist but yourself. Lonely city population one. How is a person to concur this?

I had a conversation with a new friend. I thought this person was just going to drop something off and go but they were there for hours. I didn’t mind because I wasn’t in a rush to get back to writing but I remembered something my mom told me. She always said, don’t mind people who like to be in your company, they are just a little lonely. She went on to say, it’s ok to dedicate your time to lonely people because you never know when that’s going to be you.

As you all should know by now, I have people trusting issues. I don’t even like making new friends! Somehow I always find myself in the company of interesting people. I must have a welcome mat on my forehead. My point is whenever people are in their lonely season I want you to understand it’s just a passing moment. There will be more and just like the last one, it too shall pass. It will pass as long as you let it. I think sometimes when we get so caught up in being lonely that we almost in some ways make sure we stay that way. We latch on to the wrong people to fill that void when in fact it’s your lonely season. Let it pass and allow yourself to be vulnerable.
When I say vulnerable, I don’t mean become friends with anyone. I mean put yourself in the right circle. Be who you are in the right place and that loneliness will pass. Clinging on to whoever comes along be it, physically, sexually or in some cases over the internet is not going to make it go away. Being lonely doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. It’s a mental state and an emotion. It will pass but don’t force it.

Someone told me that fact that I’m afraid of planes means I’m not a real Christian because I shouldn’t be afraid to die. No fool, it means I don’t like the thought of plunging to my death. I’d rather be sleeping then waking up on a cloud next to Jesus. They were right about me thinking of the extreme. I have better chances dying going to the grocery store than on a plane. The same goes for loneliness. When you are in the same state, do not think of the extreme. Sometimes we need to focus on what’s in front of us and live through that season. Even ifs it’s just for a moment.

We couldn’t be enemies…

I find it interesting when people you haven’t spoken to in years because of a conflict you both can barely remember resurface. Sometimes, one party is over it and has completely moved on. Sometimes both parties have moved on. Then there is that party that just won’t let go.

Here is the thing. If at one point in time there was a friendship and a ripple in the world has cause you to cross paths again, why not bury the hatchet? Why try and push their buttons, especially, if it’s been that long? What if the last words you said to this person were the last words they heard then they passed, how would you feel?

I made a vow to myself a long time ago. I would never make old friends my enemies, especially if you didn’t kill my mother or put her in any harm. You do something to my mom, yeah we are enemies, if not, I couldn’t be. We all have people who don’t necessarily like us, but I think it bothers us more when the person who used to like us doesn’t anymore. Many times we blow them off by saying forget them or they were reason, season and even holiday people. But what are we really saying? Go to hell? Don’t make a hypocrite of yourself when lost friends resurface. As the days are long and the life is short, don’t let a grudge misjudge what you can later regret.